我說的大魚可不是一般的魚，體長在兩三米以上，腰身比大水缸還要粗，而且是活的，不是在博物館中的標(biāo)本。
第一次和大魚的對話，是在文革后期。那時所有副食品都憑票供應(yīng)。我爸爸嘴讒，一天想吃魚了，要我為他買。我爸爸在家里有著至高無上的地位，他一人掙錢養(yǎng)家，因此，可以像個皇帝那樣指使著全家人圍著他團(tuán)團(tuán)轉(zhuǎn)。飯菜，當(dāng)然他吃最好的，我只有吃殘羹剩菜的份。再加上那時的艱苦樸素的教育，我對我爸爸的好吃是看不慣的。但是父命難違。那時，我還是個中學(xué)生，個子比自行車剛剛高出一個腦袋，剛學(xué)會騎自行車。兜里揣著我爸爸給的兩塊錢，從頤和園后的青龍橋，向海淀鎮(zhèn)進(jìn)發(fā)。那里有個較大的菜市場，但是，我到了菜市場，發(fā)現(xiàn)，貨架上空空蕩蕩，連魚的影子也沒有。無奈，只好向城里進(jìn)發(fā)。
大約有三十公里，我用了一個多小時，到達(dá)東單菜市場，諾大的菜市場的貨架很多，但也都是空空蕩蕩的，連魚腥也聞不到。我問服務(wù)員：“同志，哪里可以買到魚？”那時人們的稱呼，都叫“同志”，或“革命同志”。一位個子不高兩鬢花白的服務(wù)員，穿著白色的工作服，看了我一眼，和藹地說：“小孩子，只有月初和月末，才憑票賣魚，平時沒有的賣。不過，前門菜市場剛到一條大魚，聽說比小船還大，是漁民送給毛主席的，他老人家要送給北京市民吃，剛運(yùn)到。你去看看?！?
我一聽有魚，喜出望外，趕緊騎著單車趕到前門。隔著店門的大玻璃，就看到一條碩大無比的魚，身子有水缸那么粗，體長有兩米左右，躺在大柜臺上，一個工作人員激動得臉通紅，正在用水龍頭向魚的頭和身上噴水，把它洗洗干凈。并大聲喊：“毛主席萬歲！”“大魚萬歲！”店內(nèi)店外圍滿了人，不少人跟著喊口號?！疤彀。嬗姓婷创蟮聂~！”更多的人們是在驚嘆。這是我一生中見第一次見到如此大的魚，和周圍的人一樣被震驚了?！斑€活著呢！”有人驚叫。我從人縫里擠進(jìn)個腦袋，伸長脖子向里看，果然看到，那條大魚的嘴有臉盆那么大，被水龍頭灌滿水后，張了一下，就再也沒有動彈。它的眼睛，凸鼓著，像是瞪著我，在無聲地說：“我死了。我恨你們，你們這些貪婪的家伙?！蔽冶霍~凸鼓的白眼震懾住了，多好的大魚啊，多漂亮的大魚啊，而周圍里三層外三層的圍著無數(shù)要吃它的肉的人。我為大魚悲哀。
開始賣魚了，不要票，有錢就可以買，因?yàn)檫@是計劃外的饋贈，是毛主席要北京市民嘗鮮的。人們擁擠著排起了長隊(duì)，我被擠到了隊(duì)伍的最后面。排了有一個多小時，聽前面的人鬧嚷著，“賣光了，別排了?！标?duì)伍一下子散開了。買到魚的興高采烈，而沒買到的，一臉遺憾。我并沒有沮喪，反而為沒有買到這條魚的肉而慶幸。當(dāng)然，空著手回家后，被老爸罵了一通：“真是沒用的東西！”但是，那條大魚在我的心中留下不可磨滅的印記。
第二次見到大魚是八十年代末，我作為記者隨當(dāng)時的國家主席李先念出訪西歐數(shù)國，其中的一個國家是盧森堡，是個世界上國土面積比較小的國家之一，但是非常富有。盧森堡大公，慷慨地邀請所有中國代表團(tuán)包括隨行人員、記者在他的郊外古堡吃晚宴。古堡坐落在一個島上。車子穿過一片茂林的森林，停下了。所有人員要步行跨過一座木橋，這座橋有上百年歷史，連接著一條河流的兩岸。岸那邊是巍峨的古堡，河流連接著一片開闊的湖水，湖水包圍著古堡。四周非常靜謐，只能聽到鳥歡快地鳴叫，而沒有其他人煙，因?yàn)檫@里是皇家禁地。在過橋的時候，我和其他人員都驚奇地發(fā)現(xiàn)，河流中緩緩游動著數(shù)條大魚，最大的有三米多長，兩條有兩米多長， 人過橋的震動，吸引了魚群，它們游過來，似在向我們問好。一條，兩條，三條，四條，啊，五條，我看到了五條碩大的魚排著隊(duì)游過來，它們的頭有水缸那么大，像潛水艇一樣在游弋，時不時地仰起來望著我們這些來客。幾乎所有的人都被魚吸引住了?！罢娲蟀。@么多大魚！”我由衷地贊嘆這里的資源豐富，魚長得如此碩大，生活得如此安逸。我想起了我在前門店里見到的那條大魚。如果它能在我國的河湖中自由自在地活著，該多好?。?
宴會非常豐盛，有很多菜肴是魚肉做的。我用英語問穿著白色圍裙金發(fā)碧眼的女服務(wù)員是否這些魚是在附近釣上來的，她嫣然一笑，禮貌地用英語回答我：“不，先生，這里是禁釣區(qū)。整個湖都是禁釣區(qū)。所以魚長得很大。你們一定看到大魚了。那是古堡的驕傲，是迎賓的特殊儀仗隊(duì)。菜肴里用的魚是菜市場采購的。放心享用吧。祝您胃口好?！蔽以僖淮?被感動了，被他們的禁釣感動了。難怪那些大魚如此安逸，它們受到了保護(hù)，并擔(dān)任著迎賓的特殊任務(wù)。人和自然是如此和睦相處，這是多么美好的圖畫??！動物的天堂。大魚的天堂。要是這個天堂在國內(nèi)就好了。
第三次和大魚對話的確是在國內(nèi)，在北京密云水庫。那是不久前被邀請作為專家參加全國電視專題片和紀(jì)錄片界定的會議，地點(diǎn)是密云水庫的一個隱蔽的小島。這個島至今沒有對外開放，島上別墅建于1960年。會議休息時，我來到島的一角看湖水，一望無際的湖水，清澈透底，波光瀲滟。讓人心曠神怡。我獨(dú)自坐在一塊石上，盡情享受這寧靜的風(fēng)景。突然，“嘩啦”一聲，打破了安靜的氣氛。我順著聲音望去，發(fā)現(xiàn)是一條大魚躍出了水面。這條魚有兩米多長，水缸那么粗。它沉下去了，可是又有兩條略小一點(diǎn)的大魚緊接著躍出了水面，似在向我問好。我激動地站了起來。啊，在國內(nèi)真的有這么大的魚！不是一條，而是三條，是一個家庭！它們在自由自在的游動著。甚至他們游到了我的腳下，望著我，似乎在向我索食。我手里沒有食物，如果我回去取食物，又擔(dān)心回來的時候看不到它們了。所以，我沒有動，只是向它們揮了揮手，輕聲說：“大魚，你們好！很高興見到你們。不過，你們千萬別讓魚鉤和魚網(wǎng)逮到，別貪吃，魚餌不是好東西，是危險！別到有人的水域去，那里危險！當(dāng)心啊，我為你們祝福，為你們祈禱！”三條大魚在我的身邊緩緩地游動了一會兒，然后沉下去游走了。我的心似乎也被它們帶走了，希望它們安全無恙。
第二天，會議開得緊，連休息時間都沒有了，我抽不出時間來看望這三條大魚。下午在會議結(jié)束時候，在汽車開動前，我三步并做兩步跑到湖邊來看望，希望再能夠見到它們，可能是我的腳步聲音太大，也可能是時間太短，我沒有見到它們。但我知道，它們一定就在附近，沒有走遠(yuǎn)，因?yàn)槲腋杏X到人和魚和諧的氣氛，感覺到它們安逸的律動。。。。。。
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The Three Times I Dialogued with Huge Fish
?????????????? By Wang Yongli
The huge fish I mentioned is not an ordinary fish, but has a length of two or three metres, is thicker than a huge vat of water, and is living, not a specimen in a museum.
The first dialogue between a huge fish and me happened at the end of the Cultural Revolution. During that time, due to the scarcity of goods, especially food, one had to use coupons to buy whatever limited quantities of necessities were available. One day my dad wanted to eat some fish and ordered me to go out and buy it for him. My father had a supreme status at home—he earned the money used to feed the family, therefore, he could be like an emperor and make us respect him. Of course he ate the best and other family members including me ate the leftovers, but as I had accepted so much of the austerity education, I had a negative opinion about my father thinking him too fond of good food. Except I could not disobey my father’s order. At that time, I was a middle school student, just a head taller than a bike, which I had just learned how to ride. I put the two Yuan my father had given me into my pocket and rode the bicycle from the Qinglong Bridge behind the Summer Palace toward the town of Haidian where there was a large market. But when I arrived at there, I found all the shelves were empty, there was not even the shadow of a little fish. Helpless, I had to go to downtown Beijing.
It was about thirty kilometres and it took me more than an hour to reach the Dongdan food market. To my great disappointment, although there were a lot of large shelves, all of them were also empty; I could not even smell a fishy odor. I asked a sales assistant: "Comrade, where can I buy a fish?" During that time, the Chinese way when speaking to others was with the use of the title of "Comrade", or "Revolutionary Comrade". A short, gray-haired attendant, dressed in white overalls, glanced at me and then gently answered: "Little child, only at the beginning or the end of each month are there fish for selling, but at other times there are usually no fish in the market. However, I just heard a piece of news that at Qianmen Market there is a huge fish, and it is much bigger than a boat. The fishermen wanted to present it to Chairman Mao, but Chairman Mao doesn’t want to eat it and presented it to the Beijing people. It has just been transported to there. You may go there to have a try.”
After hearing the news, I was overjoyed, and hurried on the bicycle to Qianmen Market. Through the huge glass window I saw a gigantic fish lying on the counter, thick as a huge cylinder, with a length of more than two metres. A shop assistant flushed with excitement, washing the huge thing, the head, the body, down to the tail to make it clean. He shouted in a loud voice: "Long live Chairman Mao! Long live the big fish!" Outside the market many people watched the scene and shouted slogans after the shop assistant. The passing people stopped and sighed: "Oh, a really big fish! So huge!" All the people, including myself felt amazed. It was my first time seeing such a large fish. But then the crowd became shocked. "Still alive!" Some people cried. I craned my neck to look, saw that the fish’s mouth was as big as a basin, and that when it was filled with water by a faucet, the fish opened its mouth much wider, then closed it, but after that never moved again. Its eyes were bulging, as if it was staring at me, seeming to silently say: "I'm dead. I hate you, for all your people are greedy." The fish’s convex white eyes fascinated me. It was a huge fish, a big beautiful fish, but around it there stood countless people who wanted to eat its meat. Suddenly I was sad for the fish.
It was time to start selling the fish. It did not need any coupon, only money, because this was a special gift that Chairman Mao wanted the citizens of Beijing to taste. So the crowd of people lined up, but I was pushed into the end of the long queue. I queued for about an hour then heard someone in front of me in a hubbub, "Sold out! Don't queue." The left people suddenly scattered. Those who had been able to buy the fish were jubilant, but those who couldn’t buy it felt sad and regretful, their faces gloomy. But I was not depressed and even rejoiced, for I had not bought the fish meat. Of course, after going home empty-handed, my father scolded me: "You are so useless!" However, the huge fish left an indelible imprint on my heart.
The second time I met huge fish happened in the late eighties. As a reporter I accompanied president Li Xiannian on his visit to the Western European countries. It was in Luxembourg that I had the chance to see huge fish again. Luxembourg is only a small state, but very rich. Archduke Luxembourg generously invited all the Chinese delegation entourages, including reporters, to dinner at his castle. The cars taking us there went through a dense forest then stopped. All of us had to walk across a wooden bridge that had a history of several hundreds years and connected two banks of a river. On the other side stood the towering castle. I found out the river was part of a vast lake, and the castle was surrounded by the lake. It was so quiet that I could only hear birds chirping cheerfully. No one could enter without invitation because it was the Royal citadel. Crossing the bridge, my colleagues and I were surprised to find huge fish slowly swimming toward us, the biggest one was about three metres long and others were about two metres long or a little more than two metres long. The wooden bridge’s vibration had attracted the group of fish. They swam leisurely, as if to say hello to us. One, two, three, four, five, ah, I saw five huge fish swimming towards me. They were as huge as tanks, like submarines, cruising, from time to time forwards and backwards around the bridge to welcome guests. Almost all of us were interested in the huge fish. "Ah, so many huge fish!" I sincerely praised Luxembourg’s rich resources, how fish here could grow so large and live such a comfortable life. It reminded me of the huge fish I saw at Qianmen Market. If only so many huge fish could live in China’s rivers and lakes! I thought with a sigh.
The dinner was very rich with many fish dishes. I wondered why the fish were so plentiful and tried to ask the question to a blond waitress wearing a white apron; she gave me a pleasant smile. “Miss, do you possibly know whether the fish come from the lake in the vicinity? Did your friends catch the fish from the lake?” I politely asked in English. "No, sir, here is a no-fishing area. The whole lake is a no-fishing area, so the fish can grow big. You must have seen the big fish. They are the castle's pride, guards of honor who give a special welcome ceremony. The cooked fish do not come from the lake or the castle river, but are brought from the food market. Please rest assured and enjoy them. Bon appétit." She said in a soft tone. “Thank you very much.” I said. I was touched by their fishing ban. No wonder those fish were so relaxed, they were protected, and serve as special guards of honor. Human beings and nature live harmoniously; what a wonderful picture it is! Here is an animal’s paradise, a huge fish’s paradise. If only this paradise could be in China.
The third time I dialogued with some huge fish really was in China, at the Miyun reservoir of Beijing. As an expert, I was invited to attend a meeting to define feature television programmes and documentaries. The meeting was held on a secluded island in the Miyun reservoir. The island has not been opened to the outside world, but a villa was built on the island in 1960. During the meeting break I walked to a corner of the island to watch the lake. The surface of vast lake’s clean transparent water was rippling in the refreshing breeze. I felt relaxed and enjoyed the scenery very much. I sat on a stone and watched the peaceful landscape. Suddenly, a splash sound broke the quiet atmosphere. I chased the sound down and found a huge fish jumping out of the water and falling back into the water with a plop. The fish was two or three metres long, thick like a water vat. To my surprise I watched another two large fish jump out of the water immediately after, as if to say hello to me. I was so excited to stand up. Ah, they were really huge fish! Not one, but three. They were a family! Swimming at ease they swam to my feet and looked at me, seeming to beg for food from me. But I didn't have any food with me. I thought if I went back to the room to fetch food, I would not see them again when I came back, so, I did not move, but waved my hands to them and said softly: "Big fish, how are you? Very nice to meet you. Don't touch the hook and don’t let the fishermen catch you! Never be greedy for the bait, for the bait is not good food, it is dangerous! Don't go to the area where human beings often fish, for there is risk! Be careful, I bless and pray for you!" The three huge fish swam around me slowly for a while and then turned to the center of the lake eventually vanishing out of sight. My heart seemed to go away with them and I hoped that they were safe.
The next day the meeting was tight, there was not a break, nor any rest time at all. I didn’t have time to see the three fish again. In the afternoon, the meeting finished. Before the car left the island I quickly ran down the corner of the lake to have a look, to try to see them again. Maybe my footsteps were too heavy, or the time was too short, and as a result I didn't see them. But I knew, they must have been in the vicinity, not far from me, because I felt the harmonious atmosphere between us, and because I could feel their comfortable rhythm.
